The Marriage of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Chihiro Tenzou
Summary: You were expecting Kyon? Well, you're very wrong. Kyon does something and doesn't make up for it now the whole world is at risk. He has to undo what he's done to fix everything. Thing is, he doesn't know how.


The Marriage of Haruhi Suzumiya

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**A/N** –Hey! Okay, I found this in my fanfic pile. I never planned on posting this because I thought that it would suck so I saved chapter 1 unfinished. I opened it up months later and I somehow get the motivation to finish it. Now, here I am. Sorry in advance for some mistakes so, here you go. Hoping you guys'll like it :D

**Chapter 1**: You Thought Wrong  
**Theme**: The Mess I Made by Parachute

Lemme guess, from reading the title, you expected that I'm the one whom Haruhi married? Well, you thought wrong. Let's go back to how this all happened.

It started out on an ordinary day at the clubroom (like it should be) until Haruhi brought up this idea of selling Asahina-san to a strip joint just to earn some extra cash. In my opinion, it'd look both pitiful and so damn hot. Okay,back to the original story before my secret desires emerge.

So I get mad at Haruhi, I scream at her too. She pulls me by my tie and gives me some useless crap. That woman is just so full of herself! She's a freakin' sadist for Pete's sake! Poor Asahina-san has to go through all her shi—whoops, let's be formal. All her monkey business (yeah, that works).

Hang on, there's more where that came from. I finally release all my anger and scream with all my might. Haruhi let go of my tie and was clearly taken aback. "YOU ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO USE US FOR YOUR OWN STUPID PLEASURES! WE ARE YOUR CLUB MEMBERS, NOT YOUR TOYS!"

Haruhi blinked a few times then collected herself. She took a deep breath then finally said, "You really made me wait for months or maybe even years to unleash your true anger towards me?" at the time, I really didn't know if she was being serious with that tone with such a fierce face. She crossed her arms then continued "I am the chief of the S.O.S. Brigade. I try to train my members to go through challenges in life and _how_ did you respond? You channeled all that crappy anger in a bomb and waited for it to explode! You should be aware that I'm more than welcome to—"

"MORE THAN WELCOME?! MORE THAN WELCOME, HARUHI?! You don't even give us a chance to speak! You always do things before we even have a chance to fight back. You're pathetic!" I said, pushing a chair down. Koizumi tried to hesitantly pick it up but Nagato-san stopped him. Asahina-san, however, was hiding by a corner. I think she was trying to tell me something but, I really couldn't tell with the façade going on.

Haruhi sat on her chair and rubbed her temples. She gave me a quick evil eye. She leaned back on her chair and looked away. Okay, she's pissed. I know she is…

"Get out…" she groaned.

"That's it? You want to teach us strength and all that crap but even you can't put up a good fight?! What's gotten into you?!"

"ORDERS ARE ORDERS. GET OUT OR I'M DOING IT FOR YOU." Like I'd want to put up with her for another minute. I left and slammed the door behind me. Pssh, who gives a damn about her?

Later that day, I received the usual closed space news. Except, this time, it wasn't from Koizumi. It was from Nagato and Asahina-san. They approached me with that worried look in their eyes.

"We have shocking news. So shocking that we have to reveal some classified information." Asahina-san said, her head down in shame and worry.

"You see, you and Haruhi were destined to be together in the future and have kids. The thing is, your actions today caused her to think otherwise." Nagato-san confessed in a soft voice. Am I in trouble or what? And hang on, me and Haruhi? Kids? Together? Alright, I never expected Nagato-san to be that shallow.

"So, what's the connection?"

"It turns out the future is messed up, extremely, messed up. The unborn kids could wreak havoc. You can't stop life." Nagato-san paused "In other words, they could take revenge on you." So my kids are gonna hate me? How sure are they anyway?

Asahina-san cleared her throat then took a step forward. "This is exactly why I try to stop you two from fighting. I don't want her to mess up the future." She lifted her hand as if she wanted to slap me but she just couldn't. She slowly put it down and sighed. I raised my eyebrow in thought.

I slap my head then sigh "You're telling me my kids are gonna hate me for not marrying Haruhi?"

"Sort of, you said it in the improper way. Or the dumbed down way." Asahina-san shrugged "Haruhi is their mom, right? Well, the possibility is the oldest one'll get you for his/her siblings. And, we all know a woman can't get pregnant without a man's sperm, so, without you, Haruhi won't carry the son/daughter she's supposed to have. As we speak, your kids' lives are slowly fading away. Let's just say that Haruhi is one heck of a mom."

I was about to burst into laughter when I remembered that this was a serious matter. "Haruhi? A mom and I'm the father? Please, she can't even compliment me without hurting me afterwards." I left Nagato-san and Asahina-san without an answer when Koizumi suddenly entered the room.

Suddenly, Asahina-san fainted. Nagato-san caught her just in the nick of time. "There's trouble ahead, fix it. And fast." How am I supposed to do that?

Time passed and Haruhi still held onto her grudge against me. We ignored each other so much that I even decided to leave the S.O.S. Brigade. Haruhi thought the brigade wouldn't be the same without its original members so she shut it down. We went our own separate ways.

We graduated and entered the same college. Now, here's phase one of my crime. Haruhi and Koizumi got into the same program so they had their classes together. Me? I'm fine actually.

So they got closer and closer. Sure me and Haruhi got into good terms but, she never treated me the same way she started treating Koizumi. They were going out. Actually, Koizumi was unaware of the crisis that Asahina-san was talking about. She knew that his interference would reveal their identities. It _was_ his job to handle the closed space problems and all.

Okay, at the time, Asahina-san couldn't properly picture out who exactly was Haruhi gonna be with if it wasn't me. Turns out it was Koizumi. Looks like his cocky smile actually does work.

So their cheesy love continued on 'til we graduated. Then came the time he proposed to her. I was invited, not like I really care, and here I am now, talking about my "mistake".

I'm starting to regret that mistake actually. When Haruhi got together with Koizumi, she changed. She was, peaceful, I guess. Oh, she was easier to be with. Yeah, that term works. And believe me, she was prettier too.

Alright, I'm finally admitting that I'm sorta jealous. Karma has come for me. Haruhi requested that I talk to her before she went down the aisle.

"Kyon, can I ask a huge favor from you?" she asked shyly.

"Of course, anything on your special day." I half-smiled.

Haruhi took a deep breath then spoke "My dad can't come and…well…" her voice trailed off.

"You want me to walk you down the aisle?" I said out of the blue.

Haruhi hid her head in shame. I didn't really mind though. I got my arm into position and waited for her "Well? You don't wanna leave Koizumi waiting, do you?" Haruhi smiled a little then held onto my arm.

The doors opened and I walked her down the aisle. This is nice…just me and Haruhi basking in the moment for around forty seconds…despite the fact that she's a married woman now. Why is it like I wish that it was me waiting for her and not walking her to the man she somehow loves?

We finally reached Koizumi and I let him take responsibility over Haruhi. "She's yours now. Don't screw up, promise me that." I told him. He nodded at me in assurance then I slowly let go of Haruhi, still allowing my fingers to trail down her arm. I really didn't want to let go of her.

I really don't wanna talk about the whole ceremony so let's skip to the reception. PLEASE.

Nagato-san approached me with her arms crossed. This current Nagato had longer hair and she showed a little bit more emotion "Guilty yet?" she teased.

"A little," I said in honest reply. She laughed then went to grab a glass of wine from a table nearby.

"Told you so," she said before taking a sip.

"Alright, I know you're right. And besides, I'm doing the toast thing later. I'm sure I can keep myself composed." I said, trying to maintain my tone of voice.

After a while, Asahina-san came to me too. I'm sure all of you already know how the future Asahina-san looks like, right?

"Kyon," she said in a high voice. She gave me a light punch on the shoulder then stood beside me "What's up?"

"He's feeling down 'cause it isn't him holding Haruhi's hand in marriage." Nagato-san teased, again. Thank you Nagato, thank you…

It was time for Haruhi and Koizumi to have their first dance as a wedded couple. Alright Kyon, relax, relax…

Oh what the hell…

She looked so beautiful swaying so gracefully. It struck me when Koizumi leaned in to give her a kiss. It struck me even more when Haruhi rested her head on his chest. I work out, do you think my chest would be good enough for Haruhi?

Okay, that was weird.

The dance was finally over so it was time for me to go to work. I got up on the grand stage Koizumi's money paid for and grabbed a glass of wine. I checked if the mic was on by tapping on it repeatedly. When I was sure it was working, I started the toast. I took a big gulp then started talking.

"Uhm, excuse me. First of all, welcome to this wonderful wedding ceremony. As you can see Koizumi is just that rich to afford something like this." I joked then continued "You see, I went to high school with these two. They were different then and by different, I mean it. Koizumi was the guy who'd stand and watch us smiling but he knew when it was his turn to talk. I've learned some things from this guy so, thank you for that," I lifted my glass to Koizumi and he lifted his glass back to me and nodded.

"And as for Haruhi," I started, wiping the sweat off my head "She might've been a handful but, she's taught me a lot too. I guess that's her role as our brigade chief. I owe a lot to this woman actually. We weren't like, bff's before but, we were young and we had our differences. Now, she's a grown woman and I trust her with the decisions she'll make. And, her intelligence plus Koizumi's witty mind probably clash to make a power couple or something I dunno I'm no expert," that made half the crowd laugh a bit "So, here's to Haruhi and Itsuki." Everybody repeated after me.

When I took a sip out of my wine, it's like everything froze. It's like I was the only one who was able to move. Well, that was until I saw Nagato-san and Asahina-san running towards me "Kyon! Looks like trouble's here." Asahina-san said.

"Trouble? What trouble? Is this a closed space?"

"No, it's someone from your supposed to be future with Haruhi." Nagato-san came towards me then pushed me back, when I fell down, I was in my apartment.

"Wha, what the? How about the reception? Haruhi, Koizumi?"

"The time will fast forward to after the party when you come home. Here, your 'future people' won't find you. Lucky for you, they have no idea where you live." Asahina-san said, her voice a little stern (which surprised me actually).

Nagato-san was doing something with her phone. Turns out it was this weird alien version of an iPhone or something. It's like she was studying the coordinates of something or whatever. Come on, I'm human, I don't know anything.

"So what do I do now?" I ask them both, seriously I'm confused. Can I just commit suicide or…will that make everything worse?

"For now, we have to keep you under observation. Try talking to Haruhi. Fool your so called future people into thinking that you two love each other." Nagato-san said.

"How are we gonna do that?"

Nagato-san walked around thinking for a while then she thought of something "In my phone is this radar, that way, we'll know if any of your future people are near. I'll tell you if they're near and that's when you have to do whatever it takes to make it look like Haruhi is happy with you. Never, and I mean _never_ make her sad when your FP are coming, understand? Asahina-san,"

"Yes?"

"Where is Haruhi at the moment?"

"Oh…" Asahina-san pulled out her phone and opened this weird app "She's in a limo on the way to this hotel downtown."

"Wait, is that a tracking device or…something?" I ask, sorta amused.

"Yeah, we planted this chip in Haruhi when she was asleep. We knew we'd need it eventually." Asahina-san gave Nagato-san a thumbs up and Nagato-san nodded in return.

"For now you have to go to sleep. Do whatever it takes to fix what you've done. For now we don't know how exactly we can repair time so, relax for now. We'll come by tomorrow to check on you. Be careful," Nagato-san gave me quick hug and so did Asahina-san (dream come true) before they left.

I don't like to brag but, I got enough money to get me a fancy looking apartment. I work part-time as an intern at this company Nagato-san somehow owned. I'm not sure if she owned it or she just put it up to get me a job. I'm saving up for a car actually. I work overtime which sorta takes away my time for sleep but, eh.

I don't really talk about my dreams but, this one is really weird. Well, not that enjoyed it though. It was if I woke up somewhere and, it looked like some sort of beach house or something. I look to my left and I see Haruhi's sleeping face. I couldn't resist but take away the strands on her face. This is nice, even though I'm dreaming about a married woman…okay that's creepy.

Haruhi groaned then turned face up. Too bad, I was starting to enjoy the view. She scratched her eyes then looked at me. "Uh…hi." I said.

"Hey baby," she replied, sleepy and stretching. Is it weird that this is turning me on? She got closer to kiss me but I sorta showed my hesitation "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, stroking my face.

"N-nothing,"

"You sure? Well, whatever you say. I'm gonna go get breakfast, I'll wait for you downstairs." She took the blanket off and that's when I died. Turns out she was only wearing a big shirt and underwear. In a way I don't wish to wake up from this dream. I mean, come on, Haruhi's hotter as an adult and she's nice to me. Hmm…I wasn't able to check if she was a good kisser yet.

I come downstairs and she's in a ponytail. Oh, Heavens above I think you've dropped a part of your land in my dream. She was cooking bacon or, something. I decided to play along with this dream so I walk up to her and put my arm around her waist. She smiles at me and gets back to cooking.

"Like the ponytail?" she asks, her voice sweet.

"Maybe I do," I reply. She turns off the gas then puts her arms around me. Please don't wake me up, please don't wake me up.

"Now are you okay?" she says as she starts to lean in closer.

"More than okay," and as I'm about to know if she's a good kisser, everything gets ruined.

"KYON GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!" Nagato-san screamed. Yes the adult Nagato-san screams. I get out of bed then scratch my hed. "Damn it you're starting to get older. Suzumiya-san will come by the office later to give us our thank you goodies or something. You have to make a move because I think your FP will be present. Get dressed, I'm driving." Nagato-san owns the company, she's my boss, that's life.

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"Whatever you do, don't make her sad, okay? I have to go, I have an interview for Channel 7, I'll come back for lunch." Nagato-san left me at the lobby and went out. It was when I was about to take the elevator when someone called out my name. I'm pretty sure you know who that is.

"Kyon!" I stop walking and I see Haruhi, beautiful as always. She comes to me and gives me a quick hug. "I can't believe you had to leave so soon. They say you hit your head and you had to go home. You okay now?"

"Well, I think."

"I came here to give you this," she hands me a small box that isn't too heavy. "I wanted to see your reaction so, I want you to open it. Orders are orders," she said, copying her persona when she was in high school.

I smile and do as she says. Inside was her arm band. I'm left speechless because this band is like, the complete definition of Haruhi. "But, this is—"

"You've always had a special place in my heart so, I wanted to give it to you since I consider you one of my best friends. Don't change, okay?"

We sit down by this couch and start talking. She told me that she's going to Tokyo with Koizumi for their honeymoon. Lucky bastard. "We're gonna stay there for one whole month. I'll take pictures of the tourist attractions for you. I want you to go there and tell me about the places when I get back. I won't have time for that." I was waiting for her bossiness to emerge.

"Haruhi, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, fire away."

"Are you happy with Koizumi?"

"O-oh, yeah why wouldn't I be? He's my husband and he's a good guy. Listen, Kyon, I have to go, I still haven't packed. I'll call you." She gave me a peck on the cheek then walked away. How was that FP? That enough for you idiots? Haruhi stopped walking halfway then called me out.

"Hey Kyon!" she said, looking over her shoulder. She catches my attention then smiles "I do have some regrets though, if you know what I mean." And with that, she was out of the building.

Regrets?


End file.
